


Happy Hoelidays

by Kittens



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Crack, Holidays, M/M, Porgs are an invasive species, Unexpected Visitors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 03:43:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17195867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittens/pseuds/Kittens
Summary: Poe and Hux have managed to plan a nice vacation for the holidays. Just the two of them on an out of the way planet for five days. What could go wrong?





	Happy Hoelidays

Even during war, the Resistance managed to find some time to celebrate the holidays. Fortunately for them, the First Order had the same idea in mind and they declared a temporary ceasefire. Poe suspected who was behind that, but he didn’t really care who was responsible. He only cared that it meant he’d have some time to go to a nice, quiet place and spend the holiday with his boyfriend.

Poe had picked out the planet and rented a house for their five day vacation, while his boyfriend had agreed to pack food and other supplies they’d need. Not wanting to risk being without certain things, Poe had also decided to pack some extra blankets, sweaters and hot drink mixes. 

He arrived first, which didn’t surprise Poe. He had an easier time getting away from work, while his boyfriend’s rank kept him busy, even when he was getting ready to go on leave. At least he had BB-8 to keep him company. He’d just unloaded his things from his X-wing when he got the message that his boyfriend was on planet and renting a speeder.

“He’ll be here soon,” he told BB-8. “Please try to be nice to him, okay? I know you might not like him at first, but he’s not as bad as he seems.”

The droid beeped an acknowledgement. Poe knew BB-8 would try for his sake, but he suspected that as soon as they saw who his boyfriend was, they would be hostile. There was a reason he kept his relationship a secret. He didn’t think anyone could understand. 

Soon enough, the front door opened and Poe smiled when he saw the tall redhead walk in. He immediately went to greet him with a hug, but he saw that his arms were full, so instead, he found himself taking things from him and setting them down inside. 

“Glad you made it, Armie,” Poe said. “Have any trouble getting away?”

“Just the usual problems,” Hux replied. “I didn’t know you were bringing your droid.”

“Well, it’s the holidays and all,” Poe said. “Didn’t want to leave them alone and everyone else was going to different places. They won’t be in our way.”

“I just thought we were keeping this a secret. I brought my cat, but it’s not like she can tell anyone who you are.”

For the first time, Poe noticed that Hux had a small animal carrier in one hand. He knew all about Hux’s cat and had seen pictures of her, but he’d never met her. Just as Poe had told Hux all about BB-8 but never introduced them. “I’ve always wanted to meet Millie,” he said as he watched Hux set the carrier down.

“She might spend the first night in her kennel,” Hux warned him as he opened the door. “Just leave her alone until she comes out.”

“I won’t bother her,” Poe promised. “Now come here. I haven’t said hello properly.”

Hux didn’t move from where he stood next to the kennel, but Poe went to him anyway and finally put his arms around him and kissed him. He wanted to continue kissing him and not stop until morning, but Hux pushed him away.

“I’ve got some more things in the speeder,” Hux said. Poe wasn’t surprised at all that Hux was more concerned about getting everything in its proper place first, so he went out to help him. The sooner they got that taken care of, the sooner they could simply enjoy each other’s company.

Finally, everything is away and Poe had changed into a comfortable sweater. After some convincing, he managed to get Hux in one as well. Poe had managed to get one with a First Order symbol on it, which hadn’t been easy. But he knew it would be far more difficult to get him in a Resistance one, although Poe had liked the idea of them matching.

Their first night was perfect and went just as Poe had imagined. They cuddled under a blanket watching movies until they nearly fell asleep on the couch. Millicent had even come out of her kennel and Poe pet her as she walked by. Finally, he and Hux made it to the bedroom and after watching Hux remove his clothes, Poe no longer felt so tired.

And if they stayed up late with each other, it didn’t matter. Neither of them had anywhere to be the next day. Just five days of nothing but being with each other. It was exactly what Poe wanted for the holidays.

The next morning, Poe was truly exhausted and wanted to do nothing more than lay in bed and hold Hux, who was currently laying on his chest. He brought up a hand to stroke his hair, which Poe loved when it wasn’t a hardened mass. He specifically forbid any hair products on their vacation, which meant he’d be able to play with his hair the entire time.

Their morning cuddles were interrupted with a knock on the door. It was late in the morning so it wasn’t an unreasonable hour, but Poe couldn’t imagine who would be knocking at their door. Maybe someone didn’t know that the house was being rented? But the X-wing outside should have been a giveaway.

“Are you expecting anyone?” he asked.

“No,” Hux said, not lifting his head from Poe’s chest. “No one knows I’m here.”

Poe was about to ignore the knock and simply enjoy cuddling Hux when whoever it was knocked again, louder. Poe groaned. They apparently weren’t going to leave on their own, but Poe also didn’t want to get up to ask them to leave. Fortunately, he had another option.

“BB-8, can you get the door?” Poe called. “And make whoever it is go away!”

BB-8 was good at getting rid of intruders, so Poe wasn’t worried. He just closed his eyes and was ready to go back to sleep when he heard voices. Familiar ones. His eyes shot open as he realized who was there. He had no idea what they were doing there, but they couldn’t see him with Hux.

Swearing, he got up and hastily put clothes on so he could do his best to get rid of the unexpected visitors. And hopefully before BB-8 told them who he was spending his vacation with. He made it to the front room of the house when he realized that he had put on Hux’s sweater, which was too tight on him. Not to mention the First Order logo on the front of it. But it was too late to go back and change as his visitors had already seen him. Instead, he crossed his arms over his chest and hoped they wouldn’t pay that much attention.

“What are you doing here?” he asked Finn and Rey, who were talking to BB-8.

“Our plans got canceled so we thought…” Rey didn’t finish her thought and instead walked closer to him. “What are you wearing?”

“Just something I found,” Poe muttered. That answer wasn’t good enough for Rey and she grabbed his arms and pulled them away from his chest. 

“Why are you wearing that?” Finn asked. 

Poe had no idea how to explain to him. Of course he would be upset to see anything relating to the First Order. Which was why he had to get rid of them before they found out that Hux was there with him. 

“It’s not mine,” he started to explain, trying to think of a good excuse. A meow interrupted him, saving him from having to explain why he had a First Order sweater, but now he had a new problem.

“Whose cat is that?” Rey asked. She approached the orange cat slowly and Millie chirped at her and then Rey started petting her.

“It’s a long story that I don’t have time for,” Poe said. “I’m sort of in the middle of something, so maybe you guys shouldn’t be here.”

“What are you doing?” Finn asked.

“Me.”

Poe cringed at the sound of Hux’s voice. He clearly didn’t know who was there or he likely would have stayed hidden - he didn’t want their relationship to be known anymore than Poe did. But it was too late because Hux had come out to join them and he slid an arm around Poe’s waist before even looking to see who was there.

Finn and Rey looked completely shocked, and no one spoke for several moments. Only Millie made any sound, chirping as she trotted over to Hux and weaved in between his legs. 

“Is that… General Hux?” Finn asked finally. Poe wasn’t sure if he just couldn’t believe it or if Hux really looked different with his hair unstyled and a Resistance sweater on.

“Why are your Resistance friends here?” Hux muttered into his ear.

“Are you sleeping with him?” Rey asked.

“You guys really shouldn’t be here,” Poe said. But it was too late now. They already knew. “Sorry, Armie.”

“Well, given that it’s the holidays, I’ll put aside my urges to annihilate them,” Hux said, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. “But why are they here again?”

“They never finished explaining that to me either,” Poe said, looking at Finn and Rey.

“We had a vacation planned,” Rey said, “but that planet is having a porg infestation and it’s under quarantine. And then we remembered that you were going to be here, which wasn’t too far from where we were, so we thought we’d surprise you. We didn’t know you were going to be with someone.”

“Yeah, we, uh, we’ll go somewhere else.”

“Nonsense,” Hux said before Poe could agree with Finn’s plan. “It’s the holidays and it won’t be easy to find another place. And this house is certainly big enough for all of us.”

“Uh, thanks,” Rey said, but she looked uncertain, as did Finn. Even Poe wasn’t sure it was the best idea, and because Hux proposed it, he was suspicious.

“You’re not planning on poisoning them, are you?” Poe whispered as he turned towards Hux. That was the only reason he could come up with for Hux being willing to let them stay.

“Of course not. Just getting into the holiday spirit.” Hux kissed Poe again before finally letting go of him and heading into the kitchen. 

“Well,” Poe said, looking at Finn and Rey, “I guess you can stay if you want.” 

He didn’t like the idea of having anyone else around, even if they were his friends. Time with Hux was rare, and he’d been looking forward to spending multiple days with him. What really surprised him, however, was Hux’s attitude about the whole thing. He would have thought he’d be angry and demand they leave. Poe followed Hux into the kitchen.

“What are you up to, Hugs?” he asked.

“I’m not up to anything,” he said as he filled the tea kettle with water. 

“Yeah, well, we’ve never kept it a secret that we hate each other’s friends. So why are you suddenly being so nice?”

Hux didn’t say anything until he had started heating the water, then he turned his full attention to Poe. “Like I said, it is the holidays. I’m feeling nice.”

“You’re never nice,” Poe said, walking over to him and putting his arms around him. He gave him a quick kiss. 

“You know I can be nice,” Hux said, reaching down to cup his ass. “But just so you know, just because they’re here, I have no intentions of changing any of my plans.”

Poe felt his cheeks growing warm as he realized what Hux intended to do. He almost told Hux he wouldn’t go along with it, that he wouldn’t chase his friends out of the house by being loud in bed, but at the same time, he did not want to miss out on his time with Hux. And it wasn’t like he’d invited Finn and Rey. So he smiled and kissed Hux.

“I knew you had something planned. And I probably shouldn’t be agreeing to it, but it’s not like I’d be able to resist for long.”

“No, you wouldn’t.” Hux kissed him again and they didn’t break apart until the water had finished heating. Hux made a cup of tea for both himself and Poe and then they headed back to the front room where Finn was sitting on the couch looking unhappy and Rey was on the floor playing with Millie.

“So, you two are staying?” Hux asked, taking a sip of tea.

“I hate to admit you’re right,” Finn said, “but it’s not going to be easy to find another place. So thanks. I guess.”

“This is going to be fun,” Hux said, reaching over with his free hand and grabbing Poe’s ass. He jumped a bit, not expecting it.

A look of disgust crossed Finn’s face and Poe almost expected him to decide to leave even without having a place to go, but before anyone could say or do anything else, there was another knock at the door.

“Who’s here now?” Poe asked. He glanced at Finn and Rey, but they looked just as surprised. Since he was closest to the door, he went and opened it and found himself face-to-chest with the tallest woman he’d ever seen. He looked up at her and saw she had short blond hair and a burn scar over where her left eye had once been.

“Uh,” Poe said, not sure who she was or why she was at the door. “Can I help you?”

She looked down at him and then simply walked in. Behind her trailed a much shorter man. Although Poe didn’t recognize him, he did recognize the uniform. Finn also recognized who they were and was quickly on his feet.

“FN-2187,” the woman said, taking notice of him. “I wasn’t expecting you here.”

“What the hell is going on?” Finn asked.

“I’d like to know as well,” Hux said. “Captain Phasma, Lieutenant Mitaka, the two of you better have good reason for crashing my holiday plans.”

“Give him the report, Mitaka,” Phasma said.

“We were en route to a planet for our leave,” Mitaka said, “And it turned out that our ship had a bit of a porg problem. We were just barely able to escape before we were overrun. Since we knew you were here, General, we decided we could stay with you since you would have arrangements for making it back to the fleet.”

“This place is big enough,” Poe muttered to Hux. He had walked back to stand by his side.

“I don’t particularly want them here,” Hux muttered back.

“Why?” Poe asked. “Would it ruin your plans to have embarrassingly loud sex?” He smacked Hux on the ass and was pleased to see him turning bright red.

“I don’t think I want to know what’s going on here,” Phasma said. “General, are you wearing a Resistance sweater?”

“You’re right, Phasma,” Hux said. “You don’t want to know.”

“Well, since Armie here was kind enough to let my Resistance friends stay, I suppose I should make the same offer for the two of you. Just as long as there’s no fighting.”

Poe didn’t think that was a likely scenario. With all of them together, someone would start something sooner or later. Even he and Hux didn’t always get along, but if they were ever starting to get into an argument, they just had sex. Poe didn’t think that was going to work for the others. At least, he hoped it wouldn’t.

Although there was a little bit of unease, everyone decided to stay. Mitaka had decided he’d make everyone brunch, although Poe thought he just wanted to get away from everyone else. Especially since Phasma and Finn kept glaring at each other. 

They were just getting ready to eat when there was another knock at the door. Everyone looked at each other but said nothing. Poe had a bad feeling about it. Every other knock had brought an unexpected visitor and he suspected it might only get worse.

“That better be carolers,” Hux grumbled as he got up to answer the door. “I hate carolers, but at least I can shoot them and be done with it.”

“Please don’t shoot anyone, dear,” Poe called after him. 

He heard the door open, Hux swearing and loudly telling someone to go away and then he saw Hux shoved back into the front room. Poe was on his feet quickly, as were Phasma and Mitaka. When they saw who it was, they froze.

“Oh what the fuck.” Poe didn’t even know what to think. It was bad enough that his friends and two of Hux’s people were crashing their vacation, but he could deal with that. What he couldn’t deal with was Kylo Ren walking in on them.

“What’s he doing here?” Kylo asked, looking at Poe. Rey and Finn seemed to realize who their newest visitor was and were on their feet, weapons in hand. “What are they doing here?”

“Fuck off, Ren,” Hux growled at him. “Seriously. Get out.”

“No,” he said, crossing his arms in front of him. “I’m the Supreme Leader and I can do what I want.”

Hux looked over at Rey. “You know how to get rid of him, don’t you?”

Rey grinned and ignited her lightsaber, but Kylo looked unphased. 

“You’re seriously spending your vacation with these Resistance losers but won’t let me stay?” Kylo whined. 

“He does have a point,” Rey said, turning the lightsaber off. “I mean, if we’re cool with everyone else, I suppose he can stay too. At least as long as he behaves himself.”

“So approximately twenty minutes, then.” After Hux said that, he along with Phasma and Rey laughed. Kylo looked angry but didn’t say anything. He just stomped over to the couch and sat down angrily.

“Why are you here, Ren?” Hux asked. “Don’t tell me. Was it a porg invasion?”

“A what?” Kylo looked confused. “No. Why would you think that? I was just bored on the ship all by myself. Everyone else had holiday plans and I didn’t. I figured you wouldn’t be doing anything.”

“Okay, look,” Poe said, “if we’re all staying, we’ve got to figure out room arrangements. There’s four bedrooms. So me and Hux have one. Rey and Finn have another. So the three of you can figure out how to split yourselves up.”

“I get my own room,” Phasma said immediately. “Kylo and Mitaka can share.”

“I can sleep on the couch,” Mitaka suggested quietly. 

“Nonsense,” Kylo said, looking far more cheerful than he had only a minute before. “We can share.”

After they finally managed to finish brunch, Poe was prepared to settle in with Hux and spend his day as if no one else was there. Which was going surprisingly well. Although everyone was making quite a bit of noise and there were definitely a few arguments, so far none of the fighting had turned physical.

“So,” Poe said as he climbed into bed next to Hux, “you still up for being obnoxiously loud?”

As it turned out, Hux very much was. It might make it hard to face Finn and Rey again, but they were the ones who dropped in on them, so Poe really didn’t feel too bad about it. After they cleaned up and put on some clean clothes, they went back out.

Poe had prepared to face all of their visitors, but when he walked out of their room, there was yet another new face. And one he was definitely not prepared to see.

“General Organa!” he said, surprised. “What a surprise!”

“I bet,” Leia said, looking behind him and narrowing her eyes at Hux. “So. You and Hux?”

“Uh, how long have you been here?” Poe asked, dreading the answer. She easily could have come in while he was with Hux and he would have been far too preoccupied to notice.

“Long enough.” Poe knew he was in trouble. There was a reason he’d kept his relationship with Hux a secret. He knew Leia and the rest of the Resistance wouldn’t understand. “We’re going to have a long talk, but right now, it is the holidays, so I suppose I can let you have your fun for now.”

“Thanks?” Poe wasn’t sure what to say to that. “Uh, were you planning on staying?”

“I don’t have much of a choice. Our new base got taken over by porgs, so I thought I’d join you until we can find a new base.”

“Great,” Poe muttered. So much for having a nice, relaxing holiday with Hux. He almost hoped a fight would break out and everyone would find somewhere else to stay.

“Well,” Hux said, “is there anyone else who wants to join us?”

There was a shimmer in the air and suddenly, Luke Skywalker was standing among them. 

“Fine, whatever,” Poe said, throwing his hands up in the air. He couldn’t even care anymore. “Let everyone in the Resistance and the First Order just show up. I don’t care. I’m still going to bang my boyfriend.”

“Yes you are,” Hux said. He grabbed him and pulled him into a kiss. Everyone groaned in disgust at their public display of affection. 

But that’s what they deserved for showing up like they did. And Poe decided that he was going to spend every possible moment of his vacation making out with Hux. Because it was his vacation and he wasn’t about to let the unexpected arrival of all their friends and enemies ruin it.


End file.
